Knowing that her daughter had met her “boyfriend” online, Ms. Minh Anh did not think much of it, thinking that her daughter was still young and had never met this person in real life, so she was not worried.
It was not until the evening of July 23, when her 13-year-old daughter disappeared, that Ms. Minh Anh, in Tay Ho ward, was shocked.
That evening, after dinner, Minh Anh and her husband could not find their child. They called but could not reach him, so they immediately went to look for him in every corner, school, and restaurant in the area. “I tried not to panic but stayed up all night worrying,” the 42-year-old mother said.
The next morning, she reported to the police and posted information about her daughter on social media. On the afternoon of July 24, a shop owner near her house reported that a girl had asked a stranger in An Giang to help her receive money. At the same time, the family continued to receive scam calls demanding ransom.
Checking the messages left by her daughter’s phone showed that she had been chatting regularly with a man who claimed to be her “lover”, whom she met through an online game a year ago. This man often sent sweet, intimate messages, paid for games, transferred spending money, and gradually built up trust to invite her to Tay Ninh.
Following the subject’s instructions, on July 23, Minh Ngoc started her journey from Hanoi, carrying 2.8 million VND transferred to an acquaintance’s account to cover travel expenses and buy another phone. She was given detailed instructions: take a motorbike taxi to Nuoc Ngam station, go to Ha Tinh, then continue on to Ho Chi Minh City.
At Tay Ninh bus station, a local resident read about the missing child on social media and reported it to the family and the police. When the child was about to move on, the authorities and the parents arrived in time.
On July 27, Minh Ngoc returned to Hanoi, ending a risky four-day journey.
“When she got home, she was still happy, showed no signs of mental instability, and even insisted that her boyfriend was a good person,” said Minh Anh. Minh Ngoc said she felt sad when her parents scolded her for being a poor student, so she decided to leave home to follow her boyfriend.
Ms. Minh Anh said that the couple did not expect their child to achieve high academic results, they just wanted him to learn enough to move up to the next grade and become independent. However, the fact that he had to stay in 6th grade made the atmosphere in the house tense.
This year, the child continued to retake two subjects. The family tried many ways: advising, coaxing, scolding, sharing the hardships of parents to raise the child in the hope that the child would love his parents and try harder, but the results did not improve.
The child usually sleeps a lot and sits at the desk at 9:30 p.m., but closes his books and goes to bed at 10 p.m., so she requires him to finish his homework before he can sleep. “We used to forbid him from using the phone because his studies were declining, but he still secretly contacted by borrowing the phones of his friends or people around him,” she said. “I didn’t expect that this would be an opportunity for bad guys to approach and seduce him.”
Reading the messages from her child’s phone, she realized the level of “care” of the scammer: from game top-ups, money transfers, daily conversations “more carefully than customer service staff”. The child was willing to share intimate stories with strangers, but had never confided in his parents.
After the incident, Minh Ngoc agreed to retake the exam after being persuaded by her relatives and the police. She gradually realized that her “boyfriend’s” behavior was wrong and promised not to listen to his enticements anymore. However, Ms. Minh Anh said that the subject still texted her after returning home, asking: “Are you home yet?”, “How far are you?”.
“Before, I thought I understood my child’s thoughts because he was still happy, often telling stories about school and friends. But it turned out that was just the surface. Inside, he felt lonely, pressured, and lacked emotional support,” the mother confided.
She plans to seek help from a psychologist to help her child, but she also realizes that banning is not enough. “I will try to be gentler with my child and talk to him more, especially when he enters puberty, a stage where he wants to express himself but lacks the ability to judge right from wrong,” she said.
She also sent a message to other parents not to think that the stories in the press are far-fetched. “They can absolutely happen to your own children,” Minh Anh said.
According to Ms. Nguyen Le Thuy, a psychology and education expert, Thieu nien tien phong va Nhi dong newspaper, adolescents often trust their intuition, think they are capable of distinguishing right from wrong, and even think their parents do not understand society as well as they do. This is the stage when the ego grows, and children pay less attention to emotional, unfounded advice.
“If parents only say general things like ‘be careful of being deceived’, ‘don’t trust strangers’, children will easily ignore it and think that parents are overreacting,” said Ms. Thuy. Instead, parents need to equip themselves with practical knowledge, social understanding, and online behavior skills, so that when communicating with their children, they can be more convincing. “If parents want their children to listen, they themselves must have the ability to guide them,” she said.
Common warning signs in children who are going astray include lack of concentration, irritability, indifference to family, reduced interaction, staying up late, and excessive phone use. When seeing changes in their children, instead of scolding them, parents should create a common space such as meals, outings, choose a time when their children are happy to chat or send a link to an article about fraud for their children to read.
“You need to be strict but gentle. There must be clear agreements: what your child can do and what he/she should not do. If he/she is not doing well, guide him/her along the path with patience,” the expert added.
According to Ms. Thuy, in addition to providing skills guidance, parents also need to skillfully eliminate unsafe relationships, both in real life and online, with their children, without pushing them into a state of resistance.
“The most important thing is that parents must take the role of guide, not controller,” she said.
* Character names in the article have been changed.
Source: vnexpress.net
Source: Vietnam Insider